What is a Loveless Marriage?

Loveless marriage

Loveless marriage

You are finding that things are changing in your relationship and you are no longer happy, you start to look for signs and symptoms of what is a loveless marriage or a defacto relationship It has got to the point where it can be boring, cold, and you or your partner can either both or just one of you can experience a lonely existence, when emotional intimacy has also gone from a relationship.

When the emotional connection tends to disappear partners tend to become disolutioned with the relationship.

It will get to the stage where silence, anger and resentment set in within the relationship. This is where extramarital affairs can begin or when divorces occur. 

When emotional connection also known as emotional intimacy, deteriorates then the outcome which is to be expected is detrimental to the relationship.  When a couple lacks a healthy emotional intimacy they would not necessarily see a problem, but they do experience an awareness that something is not right.

Incidentally, their love seems to be breaking down. Also it becomes obvious that the relationship has lost its desires and spark. More often than not it is one partner that is feeling the lack of emotional intimacy where as the other partner is content with the relationship and the way that it is.
 
The partner that is content is totally unaware that there is anything wrong in the relationship and that their mate is suffering in silence. Then, if the marriage blows up, the content spouse does not have a clue what went wrong.

Sadly, the emotionally neglected spouse continually hurts because their emotional intimacy needs are not being met by their mate. This could be difficult to communicate to a partner that does not seem to require the same degree of emotional intimacy or does not see that the relationship is in trouble.
 
It seems, husbands and wives have become detached emotionally as "one" unit because of the abundant amount responsibilities, financial obligations, or fulfilling their own agendas. From this breakdown in emotional intimacy, desires eventually fade, love dies, and dead, boring, loveless marriage evolve.

When emotional intimacy becomes absent this is when resentment will occur, which will lead onto anger, and eventually the loneliness will set in. What also occurs is depression and low self esteem and this is quite common in unhappy relationships.
 
 As time passes emotional intimacy does disappear, as each partner allows the responsibilities take over their mate's needs for a more blissful relationship.Couples are no longer on the same page working to keep their intimacy exciting. What is happening they are moving in different directions and are doing their own thing.

Legitimate or not, unfortunately, this moving in opposite directions creates barriers between the couple. Unfortunately this is where the couple will start to grow apart.
 
 Even if the partners are living together, sleep in the same bed, and continue to carry out their commitment to each other, it is boredom and the loss of desire will overtake any feelings of attraction they felt for each other.

So the emotional intimacy in a relationship has been neglected, therefore it will create a problem in maintaining intimacy in other areas of the relationship. At this point, it seems, all the marriage is doing is existing on a daily basis.

When emotional intimacy becomes non existent or cannot be seen as troubled, the partner that is aware experiences dissatisfaction and feels miserable in the relationship.

This all occurs within the relationship before the other partner realises what is going on. Regardless, one or both of the spouses may start looking for alternatives to bring happiness to their life.

Possibly you have listened to a friend or family member say …… I feel very alone in my relationship.

What this person is saying is I am hurting, I feel lonely, I feel depressed, I feel angry, I feel resentment toward my spouse. This is only a little list of feelings that can occur if emotional intimacy is lacking in a relationship.
 
One example of damaged emotional intimacy is a spouse who is, or seems, emotionally absent.

For instance, when you speak to your spouse and they do not hear you, much less, respond, a mate will feel neglected and insignificant.

A partner that is repeatedly self absorbed in their personal responsibilities, interests and their hobbies also showing a lack of interest.

When the self absorbed spouse is doing this they are not intentionally trying to hurt their partner but the damage has been done.

From the repeated damage, the communicating spouse is left feeling unheard and feeling unimportant. A partner that is emotionally neglected will tend to grow silent and be hurting.

Of course this allows the barrier between them to grow bigger and it is probable that the partner that is hurting will withdraw. As each day passes the couple will grow even further apart.
 
Another example quit shocking and seemingly trivial that falls into "suffering emotional intimacy" is neglecting to carry the trash out for your mate.

You may wonder how trash detail is neglecting emotional intimacy, but it is especially if the task is a high priority to your mate.

Regardless, how ridiculous or petty you may view this task, it can weight heavy upon your spouse emotions. It may be seen as you are lacking in involvement, not interested, uncaring and not sharing responsibilities.

The task could be very important to your partner and if you do not assist then anger and resentment could set in. Then, each time you neglect trash detail, this anger and resentment quickly resurfaces.

Any repressed anger and resentment will cause emotional upheaval which will continue to damage the relationship.

Once a couple becomes emotionally disconnected, their sex life will quickly feel the ill affects too. It becomes harder to become united sexually when the emotional intimacy has diminished in the relationship.

This is where couples will grow into sexless relationships, all due to damaged emotional intimacy.

It is nearly impossible to keep sexual desires and excitement alive when emotionally intimacy is not met first. It is vital that you do get the emotional intimacy side balanced to experience the sexual intimacy side of a relationship.

9 Signs of Emotional Intimacy is suffering in a relationship:

1. Couples have stopped talking and sharing their daily events and happenings. Communication is decreasing and silence is experienced.
 
 2. Partners no longer touch or feel each other with a genuine desire. Little to no intimate interaction is happening between the couple to keep passion alive.
 
 3. Husbands and wives have stopped kissing with intensity. Instead partners give a quick peck instead of kissing with a passion, love or any feeling.
 
 4. Couples desire and fire for each other has deteriorated. Instead partners live in a disconnected, loveless relationship that is dead and devoid of sexual interest.
 
 5. Spouses are not listening to their mate. When a spouse is not listening, sighs of frustration, depression and body language will certainly become present from the lacking spouse. These are just a few signs as evidence of emotionally hurting and unhappiness.
 
 6. Partners start to feel their own responsibilities are far greater than their mates responsibilities. This will result in one partner feeling unappreciated.
 
 7. Partners turn up independently to attend the same function rather than taking the extra time to meet up and then go as a couple.
 
 8. Partners do not share a set down dinner together. Instead couples are grabbing dinner on the run or eating in front of the television where staying connected is impossible.
 
 9. Partners are damaging their relationships with cussing and name calling. As a result, husbands and/or wives are experiencing anger, unhappiness, low self-esteem, or depression from this form of damaging behaviors.
 
 The list can go on and on to do with emotional intimacy breakdown. Stressors such as money, bills, working, child raising which can deteriorate the connectedness between a couple. When emotional intimacy diminishes, marriages become cold, distant, and sexual desire decrease.
 
 When no healthy bond of emotional intimacy exists between a couple, the relationship can grow into a state of misery and unhappiness. It is important that couples do understand how important it is to stay emotionally connected, and then cater to each others emotions, the unhappiness will stay, divorce and separations will happen, and affairs will continue, and the loveless dead relationship will exist.
 
 When emotional intimacy is suffering in a marriage, sexual desires will fade and spontaneity will certainly die.Any couples sexual encounters will be more distant, cold, and will be carried out as quickly as possible.

Sexual intercourse carried out in such a fashion is not making love with passion for your mate. This is just sex and is more a chore than an exchange of love and desire for each other.
 
 Arousing passion and sexual desire will die for each other when you do not put extra work into keeping your emotional intimacy alive and well. Sexual Intimacy feeds off the Emotional Intimacy in the relationship.

You could start today to correct the emotional intimacy aspect of your relationship, therefore your entire relationship will improve. Then, your sexual relationship will certainly come alive as well.
 
You have the ability to rediscover the desire and passion for each other that was once burning if you take the first step to make a difference. You do need to work on the emotional intimacy on a daily basis for it to make a lasting change in your relationship. You must feed your relationship every day so it does not starve.
 
Why then choose to stay in a relationship that is loveless or sexless, this could all change and save your relationship and renew any desire that you could have for each other. Then you can live your life out together in happiness and sexual satisfaction.
 

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